tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-74542132011-10-07T20:41:14.393-05:00This blog is a textual account of my triumphs and struggles in daily life. I've discovered the core of who I am, now is my chance to discover the vital pieces that make up that core. If you know me well enough, I invite you to leave comments. These may be words of encouragement, observations, memories, Bible verses, or whatever else you deem necessary. I'm always open to hearing what my loved ones have to say.Aftonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02760945607730643413noreply@blogger.comBlogger711100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7454213.post-8511926559316596542010-05-17T20:30:00.002-05:002010-05-17T20:41:29.498-05:00

There comes a time in each of our lives that we finally begin to realize who we are, what led us to this place on our journey, and where we want to go from here. For some, the realization happens early on and is usually spurred by an example set by important figures; for others, it takes time and requires help from an outside source. I am part of the second group. I come from

Aftonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02760945607730643413noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7454213.post-67832469844769321752009-09-29T19:27:00.003-05:002009-09-29T19:30:44.856-05:00

once one is burned, the phrase "love can build a bridge" becomes merely a song performed by the judds...thanks for the words of wisdom, dad.

Aftonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02760945607730643413noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7454213.post-65027866461481751482009-09-12T20:00:00.001-05:002009-09-12T20:01:47.276-05:00

Have you ever had a moment where you realized just how much you missed someone just by seeing his or her face again? I had a moment like that today. It has been over two years. I have old pictures and plenty of images in my memory. However, nothing can quite compare to those face to face encounters where you can look into someone’s eyes and enjoy just “being” there. Perhaps it is over a shared

Aftonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02760945607730643413noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7454213.post-41274790722817823432009-09-12T19:50:00.002-05:002009-09-12T19:51:41.133-05:00

Have you ever noticed the power of rain? At times it comes along unexpectedly and at times you are provided advance warning of its arrival. Rain has the power to cool things down or make the air so thick you cannot breathe. Sometimes it blows sideways with the accompanying wind and other times it falls straight down. The drops of a rain shower can be small and scattered or large and pounding.

Aftonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02760945607730643413noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7454213.post-14861478183371375472009-07-25T21:39:00.004-05:002009-09-11T19:41:46.894-05:00

1. lip gloss: huge milestone with this one...sharing lip gloss with others...not my issue, but the BFF's and apparently, or so she tells me, we reached a new level of friendship the day she allowed me to use her lip gloss...2. susan: an old friend who came back to visit...and seems to love the BFF just as much as she loves me. unfortunately, we are trying to figure out how in the world we are

Aftonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02760945607730643413noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7454213.post-8032455663324352662009-07-13T19:28:00.012-05:002009-07-13T21:32:47.286-05:00

The E.N.D. is the title of the new Black Eyed Peas album. If you know me, and my diverse taste in music, perhaps you already know that I LOVE LOVE LOVE...and L-O-V-E...the Black Eyed Peas. However, that is not necessarily relevant here...I just wanted to be able to give them credit for the initial thought that led to this post. At the beginning of their new album, there is a futuristic, robotic

Aftonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02760945607730643413noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7454213.post-84268426921234213752009-05-30T20:40:00.004-05:002009-05-30T22:52:15.391-05:00

it is rarely an easy thing to feel like you are at a crossroad in your life. sometimes we have challenges to face and difficult decisions we do not want to make, but we have no other choice. right now i am overwhelmed with that feeling. there are things going on in my life that are beyond my control. there are people in my life telling me i need to give up my desire to be in control all the time.

Aftonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02760945607730643413noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7454213.post-47574062651092919892009-04-20T22:38:00.002-05:002009-04-20T23:30:49.455-05:00

Tonight I sluggishly arrived at Research class after a loooooong day caused by another night of staying up way too late. The past several weeks, I've found a way to sneak out of class during the break. However, tonight I knew I would not be able to leave because we have a group presentation coming up and my group hasn't done a single thing to start preparing. As I was waiting for class to begin,

Aftonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02760945607730643413noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7454213.post-60222746341290361052009-04-20T10:08:00.003-05:002009-04-20T10:34:27.318-05:00

Aftonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02760945607730643413noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7454213.post-66665628034924314752009-04-19T22:19:00.003-05:002009-04-19T23:17:39.707-05:00

As I was sitting in church today, the pastor delivered a message about great expectations. This particular sermon was about love; it was entitled, Trusting In The Perfect Love Of God. God defines love. Love is derived from God. Love is destructive to fear. These were three among the four points made by Pastor Matey. The fourth was the one that got me thinking: love is displayed by forgiveness.For

Aftonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02760945607730643413noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7454213.post-41938434668848699512009-04-16T21:31:00.005-05:002009-04-16T22:24:11.999-05:00

The same is true of nature and of people... I witnessed this today as I was walking to my car to get my umbrella:I hurried back inside and grabbed my camera...of course...and my secretary (who has become a dear friend of mine), Adrius. I stood, mesmerized, for about thirty minutes watching as this "rainbow" changed shape and color with the movement of the clouds (turns out it wasn't an actual

Aftonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02760945607730643413noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7454213.post-38260274605376305322009-04-16T21:21:00.002-05:002009-04-16T21:29:39.294-05:00

It has been entirely too long since I posted anything. I was reminded of how much I need to write when a new friend brought up blogging in a conversation and we discussed mine. I am really shocked that it was over a year ago that I last posted something...and it has been much longer than that since I regularly posted anything. Writing truly is therapeutic for me and I probably need that now more

Aftonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02760945607730643413noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7454213.post-47454357589024784822008-03-04T23:47:00.003-06:002008-03-05T12:28:14.336-06:00

I just got home from the caucus. When I arrived around 6:50 p.m., there was an absolute buzz in the air; there was an energy that everyone seemed to share. People were feeling change and we knew we were all there to make a difference. The line wrapped around the polling place and down a city block. It was cold, but spirits were high. People were chatting with complete strangers-myself included,

Aftonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02760945607730643413noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7454213.post-89188882115484268572008-03-04T08:08:00.003-06:002008-03-04T08:15:06.882-06:00

When you can't go through a single day without thinking about him?When it breaks your heart to erase that last voicemail?When he is the first person you think of when you have good news to share?When you want to hear his voice and feel his arms around you?When "what if" replaces what is?When you can't sleep because memories continuously replay in your head?When you send unhealthy and codependent

Aftonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02760945607730643413noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7454213.post-79195301025170957862008-02-23T22:10:00.001-06:002008-02-23T22:10:59.864-06:00

Aftonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02760945607730643413noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7454213.post-79222213163624107322008-02-18T22:19:00.005-06:002008-02-24T12:00:01.673-06:00

I found out yesterday that a guy I went to high school with was murdered. He was gunned down in his front yard, while his family was inside the house. I cannot claim that this man was a close friend of mine. I remember him and I have nothing but positive memories about him...but he was not someone with whom I was close enough to call a friend and I do not feel comfortable calling him that now

Aftonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02760945607730643413noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7454213.post-72569980900379590992008-02-09T09:07:00.000-06:002008-02-09T11:38:46.206-06:00

Someone very recently pointed out to me that forgiveness is not something many people really know how to do. This got me thinking. (You are shocked right now; I am sure of it.) To the world at large, I would identify myself as a forgiving person. Most of my friends would probably agree with this. After all, isn't forgiveness the right thing to do? Aren't we all taught that we should forgive and

Aftonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02760945607730643413noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7454213.post-79796067376661329112007-11-15T20:58:00.000-06:002007-11-15T20:59:47.942-06:00

December 3rd is the biggest day of my f-ing life.

Aftonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02760945607730643413noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7454213.post-2436040129579198992007-11-08T20:57:00.000-06:002007-11-08T20:58:39.975-06:00

...is the biggest day of my f-ing life.

Aftonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02760945607730643413noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7454213.post-38270434940730742322007-10-26T15:37:00.000-05:002007-10-26T15:39:07.038-05:00

3 years.If you know what that means, then you know what it means to me...and you might be able to guess the range of memories and emotions I'm going through today.

Aftonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02760945607730643413noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7454213.post-85413615163291891262007-10-15T20:17:00.000-05:002007-10-15T20:49:13.687-05:00

I know I've made a request regarding comments in the past...but today I'm feeling pretty bitchy so I'm going to gripe a little bit and make a new request. This request is different from my previous request. What I want now is to stop wondering who is leaving comments. I'm not asking everyone to sign up for blogger and have a username to label their comments. All I'm asking is that you take 5-8

Aftonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02760945607730643413noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7454213.post-59373341012762519992007-10-14T00:44:00.001-05:002007-10-14T19:51:30.708-05:00

People suck and I'm tired of all the bullshit. I just need the truth. I promise I can handle it. It's better than nothing at all or a fucking ruse that I can dissect at every angle.I need to go back to basics...start spending more time with the people I've been taking for granted lately.

Aftonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02760945607730643413noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7454213.post-62393713852223902172007-10-14T00:19:00.000-05:002007-10-14T00:44:12.866-05:00

Try having that conversation with your parents. My mom took it surprisingly well...as though she already had a clue. I guess I've dropped hints over the last couple of years. Why will I probably never get married? Refer to my previous post entitled "Walls" for most of the answers. In short, I'm an extreme control freak and I don't let people get closer than absolutely necessary. Even my closest

Aftonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02760945607730643413noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7454213.post-86453200520327080492007-09-27T23:27:00.000-05:002007-09-28T00:00:08.340-05:00

i am tired tonight, but for some reason i feel obligated to blog because i've actually been keeping up with it recently. so, i'll give just a few updates before i go to bed.this has been a very long and very productive week. i still love my job so much!grad school is awesome.my friends are amazing.my tan is fading. booooo.jesse is sick and cutting her 2 year molars...or so i'm told. she just

Aftonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02760945607730643413noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7454213.post-35955359330537152332007-09-26T21:41:00.000-05:002007-09-26T22:22:24.463-05:00

walls can be great...for protection, safety, security, privacy, shelter from stormsbut what about emotional walls? they serve basically the same purpose...but, is it more reasonable to only have half-walls so at least someone can get past them? isn't being vulnerable actually a good thing...or at least having the ability to allow yourself to be vulnerable around someone while knowing that they

Aftonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02760945607730643413noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7454213.post-85041296137886759662007-09-24T19:41:00.000-05:002007-09-28T00:07:05.210-05:00

Interesting story...A secretary in my office approached me at the end of last week with a disgusted look on her face. She clearly had something to discuss with me, but looked as though she didn't know how to start the conversation. Once she did, I was amazed...amazed that there is still such ignorance in the world. The question this woman asked, as if she knew I was going to agree with her, was

Aftonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02760945607730643413noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7454213.post-14015732497046592532007-09-16T20:46:00.000-05:002007-09-16T23:45:33.835-05:00

I haven't felt the need to write in a while...but tonight my mind is spinning. In the past, I've talked about the importance of the foundations in each person's life. You gain foundations for just about every facet of your character from your parents (or whatever "parental" figure raised you) and the environment in which you were raised. There are several other factors that influence your

Aftonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02760945607730643413noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7454213.post-1171950221594094322007-02-19T23:41:00.000-06:002007-02-19T23:43:41.606-06:00

"Many people search blindly for the 'meaning of life.' What they don't seem to understand is that life does not have meaning through mere existence or acquisition or fun. The meaning of life is inherent in the connections we make to others through honor and obligation." --Dr. Laura Schlessinger

Aftonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02760945607730643413noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7454213.post-1159999521708062812006-10-04T17:00:00.000-05:002006-10-04T23:41:49.540-05:00

"It is important to diminish undisciplined states of mind, but it is even more important to meet adversity with a positive attitude. Keep this in mind: By greeting trouble with optimism and hope, you are undermining worse troubles down the line. Beyond that, imagine that you are easing the burden of everyone suffering problems of that kind. This practice--imagining that by accepting your pain you

Aftonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02760945607730643413noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7454213.post-1159292751058746032006-09-26T12:34:00.000-05:002006-10-01T11:59:54.480-05:00

I had a good cry this morning. Today is just a bad day for me...emotionally. First of all, Mary's funeral is tomorrow and the idea of death is weighing heavy on my mind. Not so much the idea of my own death, but the idea of death and loss in general and how suddenly they can come upon people. At the same time that I am mourning this loss, I was looking forward to the wonderful blessing of a new

Aftonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02760945607730643413noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7454213.post-1159160064221532992006-09-24T23:28:00.000-05:002006-09-25T00:27:39.410-05:00

This weekend has been a series of reconnections with my past...specifically, with people from my past. First, from high school, a person that I was once very close friends with who later walked over me and used me. I have not spoken with this person in years. In that time, I've found out additional information about the ways in which she betrayed me when I thought we were friends. Enter the

Aftonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02760945607730643413noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7454213.post-1156560098603110192006-08-25T21:35:00.000-05:002007-09-25T00:05:13.958-05:00

what will be left when i've drawn my last breathbesides the folks i've met and the folks who know mewill i discover a soul saving loveor just the dirt above and below mei'm a doubting thomasi took a promisebut i don't know what's safeoh me of little faithsometimes i pray for a slap in the facethen i beg to be spared 'cause i'm a cowardif there's a master of death i'll bet he's holding his

Aftonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02760945607730643413noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7454213.post-1155612821655424662006-08-14T22:27:00.000-05:002006-08-15T21:08:57.736-05:00

You make me sick.I hate being around you; I hate even looking at you.You're a liar.You're a fake.You are selfish.You are insensitive.You constantly degrade people to make yourself feel better.You push people away.You've never been there for me.You bring nothing but negativity into my world.

Aftonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02760945607730643413noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7454213.post-1153354896636107982006-07-19T19:21:00.000-05:002006-07-19T19:22:17.283-05:00

I'm starting to think I can actually take a decent picture... 

Aftonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02760945607730643413noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7454213.post-1153116459825747472006-07-17T01:07:00.000-05:002006-07-17T22:06:35.160-05:00

I just spent a week in New York... As usual, it was amazing. It's hard to leave such an incredible city. At least Jesse liked the souvenir hat I brought home for her...

Aftonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02760945607730643413noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7454213.post-1143929081048245462006-04-01T16:04:00.000-06:002006-06-13T16:10:57.373-05:00

Not Ready to Make Nice

Aftonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02760945607730643413noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7454213.post-1139940809040212372006-02-14T12:05:00.000-06:002006-02-14T12:16:24.960-06:00

Happy Valentine's Day!! LOVE is in the air. I, too, have been bitten by the LOVE bug and struck by cupid's arrow today. You might be a bit shocked and want to ask what exactly I have fallen for...so I will not hold you in suspense any longer. I LOVE my new ticket. I LOVE the police officer that issued my new ticket. I LOVE the fact that he claimed I was going 87 in a 60. I also LOVE the fact that

Aftonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02760945607730643413noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7454213.post-1138859773615254502006-02-01T23:48:00.000-06:002006-02-07T15:12:38.993-06:00

My gynecologist--stop reading right here if you are uncomfortable with this subject matter--is a very funny woman. She and I have been through a lot together, medically speaking. She was able to help me get through some tough times by using a great sense of humor. I mean, who else can say their gynecologist has used the phrase, "As long as you don't have a porn star boyfriend, you'll be fine" or

Aftonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02760945607730643413noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7454213.post-1138481852311510182006-01-28T14:32:00.000-06:002006-01-29T23:31:22.726-06:00

I love being important to people...but who doesn't? I tend to find one really great friend and place him/her in the center of my world. For a period of time, that works. It is usually a person who is struggling for some reason, is in need of a devoted friend, or just has never experienced the type of bond I am able to form with people. Undoubtedly, the attention I give and the loyalty I show are

Aftonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02760945607730643413noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7454213.post-1133149569767393682005-11-27T21:46:00.000-06:002005-11-27T21:49:19.486-06:00

As of today, I've been an aunt for 6 months!

Aftonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02760945607730643413noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7454213.post-1139384404079066022005-10-25T01:40:00.000-05:002006-02-08T01:41:25.616-06:00

Flohesion

Aftonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02760945607730643413noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7454213.post-1139384188726159912005-10-23T23:36:00.000-05:002006-02-08T01:37:11.480-06:00

Geometry

Aftonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02760945607730643413noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7454213.post-1129936379678044592005-10-16T18:12:00.000-05:002006-02-08T01:43:49.853-06:00

Swirl

Aftonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02760945607730643413noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7454213.post-1125810825060357762005-09-04T00:13:00.000-05:002005-09-04T00:16:40.390-05:00

Aftonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02760945607730643413noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7454213.post-1125545558926911932005-08-31T22:09:00.000-05:002005-08-31T22:34:18.713-05:00

Today was just a really bad day! This realization came to me when I awoke to find that my cat was vomiting all over the place. She even threw up on my bed! Ugh. Needless to say, I had to rip off my sheets and throw them in the washer. This put me behind schedule. I was almost afraid to leave her, because I had no idea what was wrong. Unfortunately, I set up a morning home visit so I had to go. I

Aftonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02760945607730643413noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7454213.post-1124684017393476302005-08-21T23:04:00.000-05:002005-08-22T02:21:07.996-05:00

I had a dream the other night that is sticking with me. It wasn't a scary dream, nor was it particularly happy/exciting for any reason. It was just a random dream. It might be considered disturbing, but not in a fuck-you-up-psychologically kind of way. It was more of a reminder that some things really suck and I wish I could change them...but I haven't been successful thus far. I remember my Aunt

Aftonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02760945607730643413noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7454213.post-1124170665604000322005-08-16T00:37:00.000-05:002005-08-16T00:40:46.440-05:00

This is the face Jesse made when I told her about the things that went on at Alisha's party over the weekend! I think she was mostly upset because it was the reason why I couldn't come see her. Or maybe she was jealous because she didn't get to sing I'm a Slave 4 U on the karoake machine with me!

Aftonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02760945607730643413noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7454213.post-1124153181894426302005-08-15T19:44:00.000-05:002005-08-15T19:46:21.900-05:00

I was able to complete the home assessment by Friday and the precious little girl was placed with her grandparents that evening! She was so excited and happy to go live with them. Cases like that make the long hours much easier and definitely worth it!

Aftonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02760945607730643413noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7454213.post-1123745285549379592005-08-11T02:15:00.000-05:002005-08-11T02:32:04.130-05:00

Notice the time...it's after 2am. I am still awake because I just decided to stop working for the night. This week has been interesting. I feel a little bit overwhelmed with the amount of work I have to do within the next few days. At the same time, I am enjoying myself. I did a home assessment today on grandparents who want their granddaughter placed in their home as soon as possible. I was so

Aftonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02760945607730643413noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7454213.post-1123562140581376262005-08-08T23:26:00.000-05:002005-08-09T09:15:53.676-05:00

I must admit that I'm a bit tipsy as I write this. It will be a first for me...an almost-drunk blog. I promise to deliver a completely-drunk blog at some point in the future, but that will have to occur on a night when I'm not expected to drive. I'd like to start by saying I had an absolutely wonderful weekend! I haven't exactly been myself for the past few (or maybe eight) weeks, but this

Aftonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02760945607730643413noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7454213.post-1123299813960216222005-08-05T22:41:00.000-05:002005-08-05T22:43:33.960-05:00

Aftonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02760945607730643413noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7454213.post-1123299641877278822005-08-05T22:18:00.000-05:002005-08-06T10:27:35.740-05:00

you think I wouldn't have himunless I could have him by the ballsyou think I just dish it outyou don't think I take it at allyou think I am strongeryou think I walk taller than the restyou think I'm usually wearing the pantsjust 'cause I rarely wear a dresswell...when you look at meyou see my purpose,see my prideyou think I just saddle up my angerand ride and ride and rideyou think I stand so

Aftonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02760945607730643413noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7454213.post-1123048076417333012005-08-03T00:44:00.000-05:002005-08-03T01:37:34.623-05:00

O.K. folks, what is it about leaving comments? I find this very interesting. I mean, people are incredibly entertaining. We all know I could sit and study humans 24 hours a day. I know everyone is different...but I'm beginning to notice vast differences in behavior when it comes to those who blog versus those who are not familiar with the concept yet. Here's what I find most fascinating...I can't

Aftonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02760945607730643413noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7454213.post-1122530799620919992005-07-27T23:59:00.000-05:002005-07-28T01:17:47.513-05:00

Thanks to everyone who remembered my birthday and made it a really good day for me! There was an exciting development and I'm really ready to see what becomes of it! I guess it's a good thing I wasn't totally withdrawn all day.Oh, and here's something interesting that apparently only mothers can appreciate. Jesse got her first shots today and both my mom and sister broke down crying...Why would

Aftonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02760945607730643413noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7454213.post-1122156092205113132005-07-23T17:00:00.000-05:002005-07-23T17:59:51.250-05:00

You are dependable, popular, and observant.Deep and thoughtful, you are prone to moodiness.In fact, your emotions tend to influence everything you do.You are unique, creative, and expressive.You don't mind waving your freak flag every once and a while.And lucky for you, most people find your weird ways charming!The World's Shortest Personality Test

Aftonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02760945607730643413noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7454213.post-1122090897965428952005-07-22T22:30:00.000-05:002005-07-22T22:54:57.970-05:00

The countdown to my birthday has begun. Once Dad's birthday and Daidra's birthday have passed, I know that mine is just a matter of days away. This year I dread it. As the day draws closer, I feel myself withdrawing more and more. I know that some of this is related to what happened last year. It can easily be called the worst birthday I can remember. I thought I was over it, but now I feel

Aftonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02760945607730643413noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7454213.post-1121529276100082542005-07-16T10:53:00.000-05:002005-07-18T13:27:17.420-05:00

i love the time and in betweenthe calm inside mein the space where i can breathei believe there is adistance i have wanderedto touch upon the years ofreaching out and reaching inholding out holding ini believethis is heaven to no one else but meand i'll defend it as long as i can beleft here to linger in silenceif i choose towould you try to understand-Sarah McLachlan

Aftonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02760945607730643413noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7454213.post-1121286200513420722005-07-13T15:15:00.000-05:002005-07-13T17:31:56.113-05:00

I'm a control freak. I'm not scared...I'll admit it. When it comes to my life, I want to have the reins on every aspect. Right now, I'm desperate for the reins. Where are the fucking reins? It's like I'm on a stage coach that's running at full speed and my salvation lies in straps of leather that are flopping down by the horses' hooves. I have no control and I have no idea how to reach for and

Aftonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02760945607730643413noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7454213.post-1120352248265090862005-07-02T19:57:00.000-05:002005-07-08T14:20:57.360-05:00

Aftonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02760945607730643413noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7454213.post-1119110975516403292005-06-18T11:09:00.000-05:002005-06-18T11:16:04.773-05:00

I knew this day would come and I knew that I would enjoy having a sweet little niece...I just never knew my whole family would instantly fall completely in love with her! This is my niece, Jesse. She was born on May 27, 2005 at 1:29 p.m. by C-Section. She weighed in at 6 pounds 4 ounces and was 19 1/2 inches long. So far, she has been a stubborn little thing. I'm lucky to have gotten this picture

Aftonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02760945607730643413noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7454213.post-1108689426896169662005-02-17T19:08:00.000-06:002005-02-20T13:29:46.390-06:00

Most people in my life are well aware of how important my friends are to me. I have many close friends and many acquaintances. I make friends pretty easily and become loyal very quickly, though I'm not sure that anyone really understands just how quickly I become attached. The beginning of a friendship for me is fast and furious. I want to get past all the getting-to-know-each-other stuff and get

Aftonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02760945607730643413noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7454213.post-1106189244106483322005-01-19T20:20:00.000-06:002005-01-19T21:46:17.250-06:00

I've said it before...If I learned one thing in therapy, it was my self worth and the direct impact it has on what an amazing friend I am to the people in my life. It's easy for me to say that, and it's easy for me to recognize the difference in my actions now when I am interacting with friends and loved ones. Why, then, is it still so difficult for me to take a compliment? It can be something as

Aftonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02760945607730643413noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7454213.post-1105068518142396852005-01-06T21:18:00.000-06:002005-11-27T21:35:36.793-06:00

It seems that the end of 2004 presented me with many personal challenges, along with some very important blessings. I was in my first wedding (as Maid of Honor, no less), I moved in with my sister, shortly after that I found out I was going to be an aunt, and then I had back surgery to remove a tumor from my spinal cord. I think my health issues were the most challenging part of my year. In

Aftonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02760945607730643413noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7454213.post-1094966865433229812004-09-11T23:50:00.000-05:002005-01-09T15:35:18.653-06:00

The news today was filled with images of the memorial ceremonies for the victims of September 11. Isn't it amazing that it has already been three years and yet we still don't, and probably won't ever need to, include the year when we say that date? Everybody knows what it means and everybody feels something different when it is mentioned. Today I feel raw. Perhaps not as raw as I did three years

Aftonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02760945607730643413noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7454213.post-1094701876461033802004-09-08T22:51:00.000-05:002005-01-09T13:47:41.856-06:00

www.evanescence.com There are many days that I want to be Amy Lee. If you have not heard this voice yet, you've been locked in a closet somewhere screaming to get away from your own feces. I've never heard such a dramatic, rich, haunting, powerful, and intense voice in all my years surrounded by music. If I had a voice like hers, I would never stop singing. I can just imagine it. I would be one

Aftonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02760945607730643413noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7454213.post-1094614071691434942004-09-07T22:22:00.001-05:002005-01-09T13:47:58.526-06:00

I started this process wanting a journal for myself. I knew I needed a place to put my thoughts. My choice to share it was one that took time to convince myself I was doing it for the right reasons. The funny thing is that this journal has become something that others rely on to stay connected with me. I have no problem with this. I step back and look at it to find that it kept the same purpose

Aftonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02760945607730643413noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7454213.post-1089439643205314652004-07-10T01:25:00.000-05:002005-01-09T13:48:20.720-06:00

I cried at work. Now that I'm outside of the situation, I've had a moment to let it soak in. I, Afton Marie Rutherford, C-R-I-E-D...at work. I can remember the very first time I cried while working (very different from crying at work). I'd just removed two girls from the arms of their loving father. I took them into protective custody until the D.A. could ask the judge to award their father

Aftonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02760945607730643413noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7454213.post-1089170939981191462004-07-06T21:30:00.000-05:002005-01-09T13:48:38.230-06:00

Family is an incredible force in the lives of most people, whether that force is positive or negative. My family has always been my strongest rock to lean upon. It is the center of my world. My friends come in a close second. Friendship has always been important to me. People seem to stick around. Maybe that's because I'm a good friend to have, or maybe they are just loyal. I've been told that if

Aftonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02760945607730643413noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7454213.post-1088656414274963252004-06-30T23:23:00.000-05:002005-01-09T13:48:53.100-06:00

Ok, let's just say you are a 23-year-old reading teacher. You might just happen to have some students who are, say, 14 years old. You graduated from University of South Florida the same year I graduated from TCU. You have been married less than a year. You are attractive and seem to have your life pretty well put together. So why, why, why, why, why, of all the fantasies you could possibly have,

Aftonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02760945607730643413noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7454213.post-1088485406157104402004-06-28T23:31:00.000-05:002005-01-09T13:49:06.003-06:00

As I begin this post, it's pushing 11:30 p.m....looks like it's going to be another late night for me. This is a frustrating time because I LOVE sleep. My doctor gave me a preliminary diagnosis of ADD on Thursday (6/24). I was prescribed Adderall XR 20mg. The shitty side effects I'm experiencing (so far) include: INSOMNIA, loss of appetite (I'm o.k. with this one), dry mouth along with an awful

Aftonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02760945607730643413noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7454213.post-1088357665538204612004-06-27T13:09:00.000-05:002005-01-09T13:49:23.516-06:00

Ok, here's the deal. I need a place to put my thoughts down. Paper is too complicated; I cannot write fast enough to keep up with the churning thoughts in my brain...and I can't go back and add stuff because the ink doesn't move like the words do when I type (I just added this...perfect example). But, I NEED to journal...in whatever way I can. So, here's this email one day from a friend of mine (

Aftonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02760945607730643413noreply@blogger.com3